Is anyone there?

Wow, it's been a long time since I have written on this blog.  Late October to be exact.  I toyed with the idea of just shutting it down all together.  It lacks content and it's boring.  But I also enjoy looking back from time to time at my various races, training, etc...  So for now, I will keep it.

Anyway, we are now 5 weeks & 3 days out from the Boston Marathon.  I don't feel ready at all.  Yesterday bib #'s, wave and corral information was posted on the BAA site.  Shit just got real.  I was pretty pumped to see that not only are my dad and I in the same wave and corral.  Not only that, but our bib#'s are only 2 numbers off.  Mine is 16191 and his is 16193. 

At the start of training, I had Plan A (sub-3:20), Plan B (sub-3:25) and Plan C (Sub-3:28).  This winter has really taken a toll on my training, as well as everyone else training for an upcoming race.  I am now just hoping to reach Plan C which would be a PR at Boston.  Plan A is out the window and moved to my fall marathon. I've put in some hard speed sessions, but not enough hard long runs.  With the way the roads have been with ice and snow, my paces have been slower than what I should be running. 

Last weekend I ran 21 miles.  18 was on the roads, but had to be cut short due to ice.  I finished off the run with 3.1 miles on the treadmill.  Not my ideal 21 miler, but I got it done. I had a good run for the 18 miles and it was great tackling the hills of Ann Arbor.

Angie, Dave, myself and Jeff - a few running friends, post 18 mile run

This weekend I plan to run 16-18 miles, but of course, our roads and paths are ice & snow covered.  I'd like to head out to Ann Arbor to run again, but that makes for a very long morning away from home. I was away on business this week, so I'd like to run close to home.  I need to push the pace but also find some elevation.  I live in the flat land, so finding elevation is tough. 

I don't know what to do.  I feel like a student cramming for an exam.

I'm nervous. I'm stressed out. I have not felt this way over a marathon in years!! I'm scared I will fail.

I know I can easily say "hey it's Boston, just go run and have fun".  But that is not me.  I am never one to just "go run and have fun".  I always have fun, but I always have a goal and I must reach that goal. Last year was such a successful running year for me and I want to continue that into 2014. 

I have Rock CF half marathon on March 30th.  Again, another race where I have to change my goals.  I originally hoped to run a sub-1:35.  Last year I finished it in 1:36:50.  I'd love to PR, but now I am not so sure I can even do that. 

I think once the weather breaks and I can get some good paces runs outside, then I will start to feel more confident in my ability to race.  Until then......